


The Five Times Kylo's New Friends Did Something For Him And The One Time He Did Something For Them

by Bluez2776



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Cooking Lessons, F/M, Fluff, It's All Really Just Fluff, It's Just Fluff After Though, M/M, Minor Injuries, Suicidal Thoughts, Theres A Tiny Bit In The Begining Of Seriousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 00:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6588928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluez2776/pseuds/Bluez2776
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the smallest things that seem so mundane to you and me, mean the biggest to those who've lost the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Five Times Kylo's New Friends Did Something For Him And The One Time He Did Something For Them

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so let me explain myself with this a bit it was supposed to be a lot shorter than it was, and it was supposed to document the slow recovery of Kylo ren/Ben solo whatever you want to calm him, but in like four sentences a thing, soooo that ended up not happening and this thing ended up being one of the longest if not longest thing I've written
> 
> Also darkjedistormpilot is great and I adore it and it's lovely 
> 
> Also I adore the thought of Ben knowing Poe, so that's in here as well
> 
> Also kind of inspired by a quote from portal 2, you know, the one where glados is like "do you know people with guilty minds tend to frighten more easily" and then the train noise plays, cause yeah

Kylo awakens with a start. The banging is the only thing that alerts himself before a rather circular droid makes it's way into the room. There's beeping before the door even fully shuts behind the astromech. The small droid moves to the head of the bed, or as close as it can with the small bedside table stopping it in it's tracks. It beeps furiously now. He stops it the only way he knows how.

"I'm awake. It's ok"

Memories of the night before flash in his head. His face still sticky from where the tears ran down his face. The sleeping pill bottle he had been clutching in his hands with such a fervent grip is now sporting a large crack. It still sat on it's new spot in the small bedside drawer. A new day new decisions, or at least he likes to tell himself. With a shaky breath he tries to forget how close he was to ending his own life last night. He needs a shower. He passes the droid, patting it on the way to bathroom. It lets of some more chirps tilting it's small head this way and that. 

He might not have to deal with the nightmares of his dreams anymore, but he still has to deal with the nightmare that is being awake.

The small droid likes to stick around him fervently, always making sure hes ok and awake and such and Kylo won't complain. The company... Is nice, to say the least. 

 

 

~~~

 

 

A few weeks later he's trying to help fix a ship with his small but seasoned knowledge of mechanics. Suddenly enough there's a loud rapping on the hull of the ship. It startles him enough that his hands fly from where they were previously working, right onto a sharp piece of metal. The wound spans up the back of his hand in one giant red arch of blood and cut tissue. He sighs before moving out from under the hull of the X-wing. 

"Ren the general was wondering if you could report back to the- Hey wait, you're bleeding are you ok?"

Once fully out from the undercarriage he looks Finn over. The mans eyes are clearly drawn to the red dripping down his wrist. As the first drop hits the floor, he's being whisked away by the elbow.

"Finn, let-"

"Nope, I'm taking you to medical. We can't have you dying on us now. Especially after all we've been through. So you're going to clean that up and not die"

Kylo thinks about telling Finn that he won't die from a simple cut on the hand, but he doesn't think his programming indicates the difference between fatal and flesh wounds. He'll let him have this, and he would be lying to himself if he said it wasn't nice to be cared for.

Finn sits by him while he gets it looked at wincing and even opting to hold Kylo's hand. The whole process seems to bother him ten times more then it bothers himself. It's easily fixed with some patches and he even receives a token of candy for his efforts. Though he thinks the only reason he got it was because the doctor seemed to find it funny to hand him, murderer of many, candy.  

 

~~~

 

There have been many times that Kylo has attempted cooking. He's certainly not awful at it. The trait passing down from his grandmother to his own mother to him. He's actually rather good at it. In recent months he has decided to start the habit up again. There are only so many times you can eat the same boring meal and not want to hop in a ship just to eat something different for a change. Still, the skill had evaded him for a lot longer then he hoped, more often then not a tool to enrage him in the past. To many memories of his smiling mother and ridiculous father covered in flour and racing around the house chasing their son who had thrown it at them. He had turned it into something vicious, and he knew that. So in all respects he wanted to make it something good again. Something lighthearted that he could do for himself on the lonelier nights and enjoy the spoils. So when he starts pulling out the pots and pans from the cabinet overhead. The knock on the generals door causes him to drop everything. With a curse he bends down to pick up the fallen cookware. Whoever was at the door steps in with muffled laughter. He knows exactly who it is before she speaks. 

"Just dropping in to check on you"

He finds himself laughing at her stupid pun. She's all smiles when she comes to stand next to him. 

"What'cha doin?"

"Cooking"

"Can I watch. The only thing I ever got to cook on Jakku was portions. Not any of the cool fancy foods that you all have here"

He searches her eyes, and they glisten at him with hope and excitement and none of the actual sadness that he think should pervade in them. 

"Sure"

She beams at him, her smile makes his chest hurt and he quickly sets back to work. Anytime he makes to do something new she'll ask him questions about it. It's almost nice to explain everything. Though he does have to make sure she keeps her wily hands away from the burners. He learns that Rey likes to touch everything. Examine it, he's not sure if it's to check for faults or to add it to her vast mental bank. It's endearing none the less. They banter easily as well. His jokes don't tend to make many laugh but she seems to appreciate his deadpan like humor. They both enjoy themselves,  he knows he's done especially well when Rey snorts while laughing. Everything seemed so carefree he almost forgot what he'd done. He makes more them one portion, an offer of kindness for her kinship. The noises and praises she lets out make him blush and hide his face in his hands as subtly as he can. Time seems to pass almost at a stand still it moves around them but they seem to stay in the moment. It's enjoyable.

He want's to do this more. He want's to spend more time with Rey. 

"You know, I could teach you. It's easy, and you seemed to enjoy it. I'm sure you'd make an excellent student"

He realizes his mistake to late. She doesn't react in the way that he thinks she will either way. Even with his awful wording resembling something he said not that long ago. Her smile lights up the small room even further as she agrees wholeheartedly. It warms him in places he's not sure he want's to think about.

 

~~~

 

There's a spot that he likes to think is his on the base. It takes tremendous climbing ability just to mange to get himself up, so he wasn't incredibly worried about being discovered. It was a secluded spot above the main base, a tall spire that stands above the rest. The purple-black of space interlaced with wild burning stars that look entirely different on planet then where they burn, stare back at him from where he sits on the tall spike of cement.

It's almost nice to remember that he's small. That the world could swallow him up in one gulp and he would return to the nothingness from whence he came. It's a reminder of his place. That even with all the beautiful things that he might have destroyed there are new ones in constant construction from a force beyond his understanding. Sure it doesn't make what he did ok, but it makes it manageable. His thoughts circulate and culminate around this idea, both hating and loving the freedom it gives him.

There's a loud bang and he's jumping up before he even realizes he's done it. There's a guilty looking pilot who's shifting on his feet and looking positively... Shy? He regains his composer and straitens his back before speaking. 

"Sorry to bother your contemplative thinking, but you're in my spot"

"You're spot?" 

He instinctively raises an eyebrow at the pilot and watches the grin spread across Poe's face.

"My spot"

"I don't see your name written on it anywhere"

"You're still just as childish as ever I see"

"And you still like to claim things that aren't yours "

"Hey! That was one time, you can't hold that against me Ben"

They both pause at the name forgotten to time. Poe starts apologizing immediately after.

"No, no it's fine, but to make it up to me you have to sit"

"Fine, but it's still my spot"

"Whatever you need to tell yourself"

Suddenly the cold stone isn't that cold anymore as the pilot sits beside him. 

"How did we get here?"

"I mean I just climbed up I don't know how you got here"

"No, I mean like. Out of all the places we could have ended up, we ended up here together"

"That's not really that surprising, considering who my mother is, and who yours was. It should have been like this from the beginning Poe"

"But you're back now, that's what matters"

"I hurt so many people"

"We fight for what we think is right, and sometimes that's the wrong thing. The fact of the matter is we stood up for something. Whether it be right or wrong you did it. You just have to accept it"

Kylo curls in on himself more. Arms curling along the knees upon which his head rests.

"You left it behind, I think you've suffered enough buddy, you have to let the guilt go. You can't help anybody by holding onto it longer than you already have. I've seen the way you mope around, it's ok to forgive yourself. You're allowed to learn from your past but you don't have to let it eat at you either. If you feel like you need some forgiveness, I'm giving you permission to let it go"

There really isn't anything Kylo can add to the conversations so it continues in silence. Poe pats Kylo on the back before leaving. Saying his goodbyes with an excuse about an early mission in the morning. The fake yawn was a ridiculous touch, but it still hit some part in his chest that reminded him of times of old. Times that Poe would fake sleep only to crush his smaller body beneath his own.

Ren curls up tighter and thinks about his words, his gaze returns to space and somehow, it feels like it's going to be ok.

 

~~~

 

Ren's mother comes to visit ever so often. She stops by to check on him quite frequently. As one suspects a mother should do, but as much as he loves her,  she never was quite the best at the whole thing. Her trips are quick little stop ins. She asks about how he's been, how he's been liking the base, usually ending with a comment or two about his height. So when she doesn't leave immediately after her usual questions he startles when he turns around and she's still standing there. She's such a small thing it's so easy to miss her. Leia's eyes glance up at him and it seems she's contemplating her words carefully. 

"So Rey's been telling me about you teaching her to cook. It's quite admirable of you. The poor thing hadn't even seen real food before she got here you know. She really deserves to learn, I'm happy you're showing her"

"Thank you mother"

"Finn tells me that he has to keep his eye on you at lot. Always looking out for others that one. Keeps me on track of your injuries, sometimes I have to worry if you do it to yourself how often you get them. I'm glad you're getting along with him anyways. It's nice to see that you're making the friends you always wanted to"

"Yes..."

"Poe hasn't told me anything, but I can see the way he looks at you. He really missed you Ben. I, really missed you. I'm just glad you're back, and that you're settling in alright. I was so worried that you wouldn't want to stay, but I really am glad you did. I can make up for all the time I missed out on my son"

There's something broken in the smile he gives, but he tries anyways.

His mother steps towards him, arms raised and he's already leaning his head down. She pulls it down further, not as stretchy as she once was and kisses his forehead. It made him feel like a child again. When she recoils from his head, he pulls her into a hug. Pushing her strongly to his chest, oh how he's missed this. It finds a way to make him sick and fill him with joy all at once and the hug might have lasted for hours or minutes neither is sure, but they both return to their previous stances with misty eyes.

 

It's enough.

 

~~~

 

Kylo takes a trip a few months later. He was only gone for a few weeks, even so his return was celebrated with food and open arms. There were five beings waiting for him when he got off the ship. Which was five more then he was expecting. As soon as his feet touched the blacktop Rey was rushing into his arms, followed closely by Finn. Once they relented their tag team of crushing the air out of his lungs, there was a rough smack on the back from Poe. He gladly returned it with the same amount of force and pretended not to notice how the pilot was suddenly rather winded and misty eyed as he hid a small smile. A slew of happy chirping was all he heard before there was a small droid knocking into his legs wanting to receive some of the attention as well. He squats down and pats the droids head, it seems to enjoy the affection. The last person he sees is his mother, her height could almost fool him down here. She was giving him that trademark half smile half smirk. He stands up and pulls her into a hug as well.

It hits him here and then that this is family. These are the small pieces of his life that fit together to form consistency. The small inner workings of love. That these people despite his past don't hate him, don't scoff as he walks by. They by no means have forgotten it, but still chose to stand by him after all he's done. There's something swelling in his chest, a sense of pride, a feeling of belonging. It works away at him until he's trying to discreetly wipe at his eyes as the others have all turned back to accept him in the generals kitchen again. He walks behind most of them slowly, BB-8 rolls beside him beeping away again. It only makes the water works and watery laughs worse.

 

The kitchen was a nightmare to behold. The small space that held chairs for eating and a small work space for cooking where covered in various powdery substances. Goop stuck to the walls, and there were eggs dripping from the counter top. Every head simultaneously moves towards Rey. Her sheepish look says it all.

"He makes it look easy ok" 

The laughter rumbles deep in his chest as her face reddens in embarrassment. He apologizes quickly and sets to cleaning up the best he can. Both his mother and Rey try to stop him but he refuses and does his bet to do what he can after setting his knapsack on the table. It takes him all of about five minuets before everything is clean. Thoroughly pleased with himself, he takes a seat at the table. A lopsided cake sits in the middle, around it are smaller but more aesthetically pleasing foods. The cake which was undoubtedly Rey's stands proudly, even though it's heavily leaning on one side. It says what he assumes to be welcome home in a language he doesn't read, but appreciates the thought none the less. 

The eating starts soon after, jokes and laughter fill the air. It... Feels good to be back again. The laughter dies down for a bit and suddenly everyone around Kylo seems to get serious. The sense of calm is now one of anxiety. Rey stands up, reaching into her small pocket she pulls out a red velvet box. She starts talking but as soon as he saw the box his heart started racing. All the eyes in the room turn to her and the anxiety ridden worry stands to permeate the room more.

"So when you were gone, we all decided to pitch in to get you this. So that next time you leave you can have a piece of us with you wherever you go"

She thrusts over the box at him, he carefully takes it, the mood tense and sudden. Everyone seems be waiting with baited breath over his reaction and it only makes his hesitation worse.

The small box opens to reveal a sliver band, the middle converges from three twirls into one, brought together by three blue gems sitting in gold with other small jewels encrusted into it. It all at once is to much, it must have cost a ton, he can't accept it, and he says as much. They're quick to infer to him that no, it's not to much and that they're happy to give it to him. He accepts the ring, reluctantly. It's extravagance is not lost on him at all. Yet still it fits on his finger perfectly.

He almost forgets that he had gotten them all things as well. He pulls the rucksack over to himself and digs through laundry to get at the first gift. It's a small soundboard for droids. He had seen it and immediately though of the BB unit. The though of the small thing rolling around while playing various noises and song to annoy people seemed to fit the droid quite well. It chirped in thanks and rolled around excitedly.

The next gift would go to Finn. A big encyclopedia filled with everything from wars to ocean creatures to pop culture. Several of their small conversations by the planes had Finn mentioning wanting to learn more about the world without The First Order lens tainting everything it touches. It was a small gift of kinship, but also one given with a silent apology. Finn's eyes widened when he saw it. Big dinner plates and he was brought in for a hug almost as soon as Kylo told him it was all his. 

The next gift a cookbook for Rey. The girl had been excelling quite well, but she could still use the practice it would seem. The cookbook offered more recipes then he could ever memorize on his own, and pictures of everything else. He was also pulled into a hug for this gift. He knew he had made a good choice when she was looking through it already and listing off things she wanted to try next.

He had gotten Poe some of the old comic books they would read together. It was just a simple reminder of the time they had spent together but it seemed to mean a lot more to the Pilot then he thought it would. The broken and tearful "Thanks" almost made him feel bad. 

Last but not least his mother. It was stupid. He knew it was stupid. It was childish and ridiculous. The grand mug that says "worlds best mom" on it seems to be cheerfully accepted. "To make up for all the years you didn't have one" He says, trying to make it seem less like a gag and to be the meaningful thing he wanted it to be. She seems to brighten at his words and is meet with a tearful hug. It was... Amazing, to say the least.

 

The cake Rey had made was a sugar monstrosity. It was just enough to sit on that scale of I can't and one more piece. 

It was a fun night to say the least. He kept the ring, Leia uses her mug every morning, proudly sporting it around always carrying a mix of energy drinks and coffee. Rey picks up the cookbook everyday with something new to make, and Kylo is there every step of the way to help her out. She's completely excelling and will soon leave him in the dust if she continues down the road she's on. Finn has started carrying around more books, obviously very excited about learning every single thing he can. Often coming to Kylo himself if he wants to know more on a subject. Kylo and Poe had taken to reading the comic books together on their spire. It's labeled their space now. Poe still makes the same inane jokes that Kylo can't help but groan at, but secretly enjoy of course. 

 

 

 

Even if they have given him their time. He had given them pieces of himself which they held onto. Which at the time was all he could give. Now he can give them all the world, and he definitely plans to.

**Author's Note:**

> Also I adore the though of bb-8 going around the base and playing things like never going to give you up, and like darude sandstorm and mmm whatcha say cause I'm dirty meme trash
> 
> Finn gets books upon books because the boy would probably love to learn, and I was reading before the awakening and he was talking about everything being filtered through the lense of the first order and I felt really sad so here's some retribution Finn learn it through your own lense, take back what they stole from you, he also shares with Rey and it's lovely 
> 
> Rey probably loves working with her hands and I could see her doing no less, and I think food would become a rather precious commodity to her, and something rather fun and fitting as well
> 
> Poe gets comic books cause he's a big baby loser and would probably rather enjoy them, also he makes awful puns that everyone only secretly loves (he knows anyways)
> 
> And leia gets her mug, which again, seems rather dumb, but I think it would hold a lot more meaning between the two then it would seem


End file.
